Anomaly scan. 11+3

Woohooo - I feel like I'm on the home straight.  Such a weight lifted!!

I went for my anomoly scan today.  Everything is good - great in fact. All my measurements were spot on. The sonographer checked everything thoroughly - the measurement of the neck was .71mm (should be under 2mm I think) and there was a really good nasal bone and the heart was bashing away, all the valves working great. She said they were the best measurements she'd had all day. 

We got some really great photos. 

It was so unbelievably reassuring tho!! I really didn't think to hear that everything was as it should be would mean so much. We all say that we'd love our baby either way and I know we would, but to hear that everything is ok is SUCH a relief. Worth every penny over and over and it makes me feel a lot more secure about having a healthy baby at the end of this, regardless of what the diabetic clinic say to me this time.

Unforch tho, I'm still a bit small only being 11+3. Baby needs to be 45mm for comparison and the bean is only 44.3mm LOL!! SO, it means I go back next week for another scan YAY!!!

We came home and told Isabella. She jumped around and asked to see the pictures and wanted to see the Beans nose and eyes and tummy.  She then insisted on drawing a picture of the baby on my tummy and kissing it a lot - its was unbelivably sweet. She is so excited and keeps saying "can I see the baby mammy??" and looking at the scan pics. Its a great feeling!!

Yay.  

Will do more tomorrow.

Approach with caution. 10+6

Just a short post today.  I'm still sick and therefore ferociously grumpy.  Gordon is having to do most of the housework and I can just about manage to cook a dinner.  The main cold is gone but I'm left with awful sinus, absolute exhaustion and a constant headache.  I'm off all the meds now with the exception of paracetamol. This, if nothing else, means that previously perfectly rational people aren't inexplicably judging me for taking medications prescribed by my GP.

I've also admitted that I have nausea.  That took 3 weeks to accept it wasn't my cold or constipation or the rare glass of wine or whatever.  Its awful crippling exhausting nausea, starting almost on the dot of 10 past 4 in the afternoon.  Its such that I dont actually vomit or wretch but I spend the whole evening on the verge of it.  Eating a bigger lunch and a smaller dinner has helped, as has NuxVom, the homoeopathic remedy.  Also, the Mammy recommended Soda Water which gives me big satisfying burps LOL!!

Isabella is surpassing herself with tantrums and general pain-in-the-ass-ness but I'm hoping that Gordon and I can knock that on the head in the next few days with a reward chart and the threat of Santa not coming etc.  December can be handy for that.

One very nice thing was my Friday afternoon.  I went to my friend Wendy's house with Isabella for a playdate with her son daniel  She always cheers me up without seemingly trying very hard?  Dont we all have one of those perfect mates, the never-judging, never hyper or over-dramatic,  never miserable or gloating friends??  Life never sucks or shines - it just ticks over nicely.  We can sit and whine and batter out issues and come away feeling like everything got sorted out without breaking anyones heart.  I'm very lucky to have a couple of those pals.  Its my December resolution to spend more time with those people.  Thanks Wendy.

The Technical Stuff
All was doing fine until yesterday when suddenly my insulin requirement seems to have dropped significantly.  I was on target all of yesterday until bedtime.  I was 4.7 and then hit 3.3 about 8 minutes later.  I inhaled toast and lucozade but still suffered another horrid 2.7 at 5am.  This woke Gordon as I was incoherent.  He didnt get back to sleep so ended up going to work at about 7am.  Feeling particularly guilty about that.  I then did a TBR of -20% leaving me at 10.2 this morning.  Argh. ARGH!! I was still so shattered that I went back to bed only to have another 2.7 at 1pm.  I feel like I've been hit by a truck now.  Back to the drawing board tonight with my diary and pen.  Eugenie - you might be doing numbers with me yet!!

Almost human. 10wks.

Sorry I've not been on in an age. I've been floored with a rotten rotten cold and have been more than miserable. I smelt for the first time in about 4 days, unfortunately it was one of the Bessies little parcels - ugh.  

SO, I finally got over the hump of my cold by taking the maximum dose of paracetamol (in tablet and Lemsip form), heaps of Olbas Oil, steaming my head and eventually gave in and took a Piriton (anti-histamine). Piriton makes me drowsy so I crawled into bed in the spare room at 10pm and slept for 12 straight hours. The difference the next morning was unreal. I felt almost alive! However, because I couldnt get any accurate information on decongestants in pregnancy and the risks involved and therefore didnt take one, I now have an ear infection. I'm at the GP tomorrow morning and will probably need antibiotics. That really REALLY infuriates me because i'm pretty sure that a course of AB's are a lot more dangerous than a couple of sudafed. I also know that AB's are going to destroy my diabetes control and I could really do with some luck in that area. I'm going to take another Piriton tonight and hopefully get over the hump of the chestyness I have now. Sleep is such a curative thing for me.

Nothing much really to report unfortunately - I'm really trying to hide my bump now but its not working.  Asking my friends, i think for the most part its because of my section.  My figure had mostly returned after Isabella but I never lost the little roll of fat under my bellybutton which is common after a CS.  That seems to have hugely swelled now and general bloatedness is making me look huge.  

I have an appointment on the 5th for my first trimester tests.  Here is the information if anyone is interested.  http://www.rcsiwomenshealth.com/Patients/Patient_Services_-_Obstetrics_/First_Trimester_Screening/index.asp   Its just a scan and a blood test and Gordon is coming with me so I'm not nervous or anything. Looking forward to getting another scan and seeing my bean. I'll be 11+4 then so I might tell everyone after I get the results of that. Mam and Dad are having a little Christmas on the 11th so I might tell Isabella before then and let her tell her little cousins.  I'd love to video telling her - she can be such a sweet little thing that I'd love to have it to show her sibling in years to come.

I dont think I've anything else to whinge about. Oh, despite explaining over and over to the Rotunda why I was going public this time and not private, I was still put on my ex-consultants team. I rang and asked to change but the thundering bitch on the other end of the phone told me that I had no choice now that I was public. 

I'm also a bit nervous cos I met a midwife from Holles Street National Maternity Hospital a few days ago (socially) and she spent a good 20 mins going on about how you are much more likely to have problems delivering if you are a public patient. You dont get the same level of care. I was stunned she would say that, regardless of it being true.

I've gotten all my appointments for my 20wk and 24wk scan and they'll be very thorough because of the high-riskness. I'm going to ask for some very detailed placental scans and growth scans as they can be good early indications of pre-eclampsia.  Although they still cant control or prevent PET, knowledge is power and after last time, I want to prepare myself as much as I can.

**Sniff, cough, splutter** 9+3

Ugh.  I have a cold.  And I'm going to wallow.  A LOT.
My nose is running.
-  If I dont sniff, my nose tickles and I sneeze.
-  If I sneeze, I feel sick and dizzy.
-  If I do sniff, I get a pain in my head.
-  If I blow my nose, I go dizzy and my head pounds for about 3 minutes.
-  If I dont blow, my nose runs.

And no, there is nothing I can take apart from paracetemol.  Paracetemol sucks.

I'm also taking silver and echinacea and vitamin C and ginseng and Nettle Tea as a decongestant but I think I'd actually sell my soul for a sudafed and some codiene.

Had an ok week.  Gordon was in Puerto Rico and Mammy was my saviour (whats new).  She came over on Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday night meaning I got full nights sleep.  I went to Ballsbridge on Thursday night with Isabella and Oisin came here to mind the Boo.  Mammy picked us up some Mousaka and Bread and Butter pudding and I ate my head off.  I also got a nice long lie-in.  That meant I got some vital housework done before a rotten nights sleep Friday and 3 hypos in a row on Saturday morning wiped me out again.  I'm reaching the real tip of the exhaustion scale now. I'm literally aching in my bones for sleep all the time.

I think cos Gordon was away and then Isabella got a rotten cold, I didnt sleep great at all.  He came home early on Sunday and I got a couple of extra hours sleep but I still feel drained.

Anyways - because of my cold, my sugars have gone nuts.  I had a 2.4 Hypo on Wednesday morning which wiped the floor with me.  I was shivering and shaking for the rest of the day and was just bloody miserable.  I was also high until bedtime which then gave me a sweet dose of cystitis.  Lovely.  I was out most of Thursday and managed fine but then battled a persistent high on Saturday, my pre-meal levels were all crap which is unusual for me.  I did a good bit of cooking and Mammy and I had a great meal on Saturday night while watching Paul (superb movie).  Post meal, I scoffed a heap of lovely fresh fruit, Mango Melon pineapple grapes and was rewarded with another huge hypo.  Argh - I give up.

Isabellas cough got particularly bad on Saturday night and she coughed all night and all day yesterday.  I was all set to bring her to A&E for an X-Ray today but she slept 11 hours last night and coughed maybe 3 times.  Not a bother on her this morning apart from a runny nose and a rotten mood.  Happy for her - unimpressed at my ability to fight off her germs tho!

The Technical Stuff
I got my results back from the hospital and although the nurse was pleased, I'm not really.  My Hba1c is 6.9% but she said that my hormones could have sent that high.  However, my fructosamine is 305 which she said is excellent and is a much better indicator of how my sugars are. I'm happy with that and am very glad that I'm not having another test for a few weeks.

Thursday November 17th.
Last Thursday was World Prematurity Day.  Its a poignant day for a lot of us as it gives us one day to remember and consider the prematurity of our little miracles without it overshadowing their birthday.   I started the day with a lovely fund-raising coffee morning in my pal Tracey's house.  Her daughter Sadhbh was born 12 days after Isabella at the same gestation and weight. They were "roomies" until Isabellas discharge aged 51 days and we've stayed in touch since.    Later on, we met up in the Pillar Room of the Rotunda at the launch of "Tiny Footprints", a record of the journey of 80 families whose babies were born prematurely. Tracey and I got cornered by the only NICU nurse we really didn't like.  The girls played happily together and Tracey and I stuffed our faces with tiny cupcakes and giggled like girls at the antics of our monsters.  It was lovely to see her and see all the other children there that had had the same difficult and unsure start in life.  Judging by the noise and mess level, there were few who hadnt come out of their NICU stays "unscathed".

Here are the two girls looking somewhat different from the first time they met.

4/5 isnt bad! 8+4

Woohhhoooo!!!

First appointment over and done with. And what a huge relief, you've no idea.

Mammy stayed over last night as Gordon is in Puerto Rico, lucky sod. I wasnt so much nervous about staying in the house on my own as I was about having a hypo in the house with just Isabella and Bessie to notice me lying on the ground unconscious. Also, my appointment this morning was at 8am so Mammy stayed over last night and brought Isabella to Montessori this morning. She then valiantly fought rush hour traffic to meet me there. Sitting in the waiting room (Ticket No 18), I sat beside two older Mams and immediately joined them in the weekly lambasting of the diabetologist. Woohhoooo! Immediate satisfaction. They were delighted that I was all geared up to put the bitch in her place. I spent a good hour in bed last night practising what I was going to say when she started on me. We all had a good fest of "she's not going to intimidate me" etc and were comparing baby weights and A1c results before long. Went for my bloods and weight, height BP etc, I was talking my head off I was so nervous but my BP thank goodness was only 130/70. Huge relief. The nurse asked if I wanted to see the "Baby Doctor" (no, I want to see the Obstetrician thanks) so said she'd put me on the list. 

I pottered off for a coffee, met Mammy and then queued up for Round 2. 

I was pretty quickly called into the Room of Doom (the Diabetologists interrogation cell) by a lovely if slightly fierce woman who told me she was the Registrar. She went through all my levels, naturally focussing in on the few highs. I explained all my Basal rates and how and why I raised my levels over the last few weeks. She had me explain my diary layout (which unlike the standard hospital one allows for me to record my carbs and any basal/bolus/ratio changes), declared it sufficient and clear and then told me that Dr Byrne wouldn't be happy with the two fasting 5.5's I had in the last 10 days. I was very calm but clear and said that I wasn't going to chase down a one-off, but if I saw a pattern of 5's or 6's, I'd happily raise my overnight basals. I also said I wasn't going to risk an unnecessary and possibly dangerous hypo to change my doses after one night and that as it was clear to her that I knew how to adjust my levels and doses according to DAFNE principals she was just going to have to leave me to it. 

 She started off the "you know how important it is to have good levels...." spiel but was quickly quieted when I said I was very clear about the risks - which was why I'd tried so hard to get my levels so stable in the first place. She had a flicker of a smile at that point. I also said that I didn't think any judgement could be made on my ability to manage my diabetes until my Fructosamine and HbA1c test results were in. She nodded, agreed and sent me on my way and said she'd see me in 4 weeks, unless I had any issues before then. FOUR WEEKS!!!!!!! I nearly fell off the chair at that point. I've just been told to go home and manage my diabetes myself, just to call in if I need help. Makes a *small* change from my last experience of "Go home and pack a bag, you havnt a clue what you doing so we're admitting you. We're going to try sort you out but your baby will probably die anyways". So I danced out of the room rejoicing with Mammy that I'd bascially just WON!! 

Within a couple of minutes I promptly called to see the Obstetrician. She was a lovely lovely woman who swiftly gave me a scan and confirmed my dates. YAY!!! Beanie is measuring by my dates now, a nice strong heartbeat, all good. Mammy got to see the heartbeat and she could even see it without her glasses LOL!! She went through all my medical history with a fine tooth comb, everything that happened last time and what I felt were the issues and what was missed. She wrote a long list of things she was going to do (check my Isabella file for test results etc) and ring Beaumont for something else. She wants me to have the triple test and a few other tests as I'm "older" but as these have to be done at 11wks, she'd be able to do them herself. 

She said I had a slightly increased chance of PET/HELLP this time but that she saw no immediate flags. She said if I expect an early delivery, I can only be happy with a 37wk delivery. I said that I really would prefer a planned CS rather than a failed induction and another traumatic emergency section. She said she saw no reason I wouldn't get that, especially as I want to get my tubes tied at the end of it. We laughed and chatted through the whole visit and she said that she was very pleased with my knowledge and preparedness and that she would look forward to seeing me in 2wks for my private testing.

So all in all - it was a much better visit than I could have possibly have hoped for. I've been so unbelievably stressed and upset about everything that its a bit strange to have won the first round.

I think I'll leave it a while for it all to sink in. LOL!

I took myself off into town and up to Lemon Crepes and Coffee and absolutely jammed my face with food and nice things. I picked up some Christmas presents and then sauntered home.

What a lovely day to be pregnant!

First appointment tomorrow 8+3

A quick post. Wide awake, major insomnia. First diabetic team appointment tomorrow and first ObGyn appointment afterwards. I have to ask them to
Leave me alone and let me manage my own diabetes.
Give me a scan
Give me Zanex
Give me a planned CS in 30wks.
Tie my tubes when all this is done.

How many out of 5 do you reckon??

D-Day. 7+6

Today was D-Day.  I rang the diabetes nurse in Beaumont yesterday and she was over the moon about my pregnancy.  I went through all my levels with her and she was really impressed and impressed on me that I was doing better than anyone else she'd heard of at my stage.  It gave me a big of a boost of confidence that was badly needed.

So, with Gordon by my side, I faced my first call.  The nurse on the other end was lovely - seemed impressed by my 6.9% A1c and made an appointment for me for next Tuesday 15th.  She called me back a couple of hours later and asked for the last 4 days of diabetes control.  I painstakingly went through all my levels, explaining about ratios and carbs and bolus' and basals.  She said she'd talk to the endocrinologist and get back to me.  I was dreading the call that told me to change this or that and was in a bit of a state.

While I was sitting feeling sorry for myself and heading straight into a major grump, my lovely friend Eugenie arrived at my door with and Ikea present and a request for carbs.  The visit hugely cheered me up so I got my shit together and me and  Isabella went into town to get me some maternity clothes.  I'm only 8wks tomorrow but jaysus, I've a belly on me. Trousers are NOT comfortable and I only had a couple of dresses.  New Look did me proud and I came home with two dresses, a top and leggings.  Sweet.

The best of the day was getting a call from that lovely nurse again.  She said that she'd spoken to the Endo and he was "delighted" with my levels.  He said I am to continue making my own adjustments and calculations.  They'll see me on Tuesday but its not urgent as I "clearly know what I'm doing". I did a bit of a dance on O'Connell Street - Isabella wasn't impressed.  LOL!!

So, yep, I won my first round.  I'm over the moon and feel like a huge weight has been lifted.  Its only 5 days until I have my first appointment so I have a chance to relax into knowing I'm doing ok.  This confidence is a new found feeling.  I'm a bit unsure still!

Frozen here! 7+5

Whats with the cold??  I'm FROZEN. My god, right to the bones. At night I'm going to bed with two layers on, pyjamas with cuffs so they dont ride up in the night, fleecy socks, our 13tog duvet, a light cotton quilty yoke AND the electric blanket on. Needless to say, I wake at 3am with the sweat pumping off me but I'm absolutely frozen most of the time. I'm sitting here now on the couch with a huge polyester satiny blanket on me, despite my jeans, tshirt, fleece, the heating on and the dog curled up on my shoulders. I had my winter coat on yesterday, along with a longsleeved wool cardigan, a tshirt and a string vest.  I'm normally a very warm person, what is going on?  Its not like everyone else is frozen, Gordon wanders around in a t-shirt and is fine.  I'm turning into an old dear, closing doors "in case of a draught!!"

Everything is good with me apart from the chattering teeth.  I seem to be a lot more relaxed since my scan.  I've emailed my GP and she's doing me up some letters for the hospital.  Tomorrow is the day!!  

I actually got very confident last Thursday and rang the Rotunda Diabetes team.  They ask for a letter from my GP, I said that would take a few days.  Then they said they'd ring me later that day with an appointment for my fasting blood tests and when I queried the point of this, she got terribly confused and said she'd call me back.  Still waiting.  Very odd.  

Mammy and Daddy are home from their holiday which is lovely.  We went over to theirs last night for dinner.  I cooked Spicy lambballs with a homemade tzatziki and chunky sweet potato chips and it was all yummy.    It was great fun with Isabella singing us songs and keeping us all entertained.  Bessie came with us and true to form, hurled all over my car on the journey there and again on the way back.  The only upside to her barfing all over my car is that I clean it up afterwards.  I really wish she was a bit better at car travel.

I'm getting very frustrated at these food restrictions that I'm supposed to adhere to.  For fucks sake, they really don't consider what us diabetics go through before a meal already without giving us a list of seemingly ridiculous things to avoid. Before every meal I have to count up the amount of carbs in my food, this involves weighing everything, getting out the application on my iPhone or checking the back of packets or jars, calculating the carbs in each individual portion, adding it all up, adjusting the dose depending on my current blood sugar level and the time of day.  Then and only then can I take my dose and eat my food.  It can get quite complicated and its been known to happen that Gordon is over half way through his dinner by the time I've worked it all out.  

If anyone thinks I could further legitimately destroy the joy of food by checking everything I eat off a list of stuff I'm not supposed to eat, they can piss off. I'm still happily enjoying a glass of wine or 2 a couple of times a week and I regularly have scrambled eggs and paté and peanuts and sushi and chorizo (not all at the same time) and I just dont think I could handle having to give all that up.  That said, I really miss inhaling a bottle of wine on a Friday evening with Cat and then falling into bed a bit pissed.  One or two glasses just isnt the same.  Unless its a REALLY nice wine!

I'm hoping Mam can come to my first appointment with me but I'm expecting them to be pissed cos I wont get there until after 9.  I'll have to drop Isabella off at Montessori and they don't start until 9.  Not sure what to do about that.  Hmm!

The Technical Stuff.

So far so good.  Getting good fasting BG's and post meal levels.  I seem to be quite high before my dinner is all.  Any snacking at all seems to send me through the roof and I've tested a few highs before dinner.  Gordon is away next week so I think I'll really concentrate on nailing those levels.  I've not had to increase my overnight basals in a while so I'm expecting them to need adjusting soon.  

A blob with a heartbeat. 7+3

Just a quick post. We had our scan at lunchtime and she very quickly found a blob within a blob. Only the one and it's in the right place. We're over the moon and have breathed a sigh of relief. The fear of the looming diabetic team appointment is still tangible but a little flickering blob makes it all worthwhile. 1/2" now!! Yay!

Relief and good news. 6+6

SO after all of yesterdays panics and anxiety, I've made some steps to sort stuff out. I had a long great chat with my GP.  I wont be getting the diabetologist as my Obstetrician - woohooo!  I will be assigned a high-risk consultant and team but it will be related to my "high-riskness" and not just my diabetes.  YAY!  This has meant that last night I slept a full whopping 8 hours, not a bother on me.  My anxiety is all gone, I cant verbalise any new fears and I'm handling all the expected ones. My GP has been in touch with the psychiatrist already for me and he is going to see me really soon into my appointments and will help me work through issues. I really liked this Dr last time (Dr Sheehan), he was direct, fair, honest and didn't speak to me like I was stupid.  Between him and the new Master in there, I'm feeling a lot more confident.

I'm a bit disappointed tho that Gordon will be away in South America from Monday 14th November until Sunday 20th.  It is assumed that I will be having my first appointment at some stage during this week.  Mam has said she'll come with me but I'm sad that Gordon will miss my first scan.  As a result, we've decided to have a private reassurance scan next Monday.  Its only costing €99 and its going to give peace of mind, check my dates and give Gordon a chance to be part of the first stages of this journey.  Very excited.

The Technical Stuff
All good still - I was 5.3 before dinner last night and after a very bold Chinese takeout, I managed to get a 5.8 afterwards.  I was over the moon.  6.1 going to bed but I'll need to, once again, raise my overnight basals as I was 7.2 upon waking.  Did a quick bolus and was down to 4.8 by the time I had my breakfast.

Weird tho - how are there carbohydrates in scrambled eggs and bacon??  I had a "carb free" morning and weirdly tested an 11.1 90 mins later.  I think my next carbfree morning will have to be foodfree too.  Ugh.  It was very very yummy tho!!

Anxiety. 6+5

An issue I thought I had licked about a year ago has started to raise its ugly head again.  I realised yesterday that one of the core reasons for my not sleeping was that my mind was racing with worry at night.  I used to take Valerian to help me sleep when my mind wouldn't relax but unfortunately I'm not able to take that now I'm pregnant.  The only thing that I can take is Rescue Remedy but its not touching me right now.

I never suffered panic attacks or anxiety until some real awfulness as a result of my wedding.  I managed to get on top of the panic attacks by withdrawing from the people and situations that exacerbated my anxiety and between counselling and medication (Valium - mmmmmm...) I managed to move on.  Unfortunately, I never managed to resolve the issues I had with the diabetes team in the Rotunda Maternity hospital and now that I'm pregnant again, those issues are raising their head. 

I wrote my GP yesterday detailing all my worries and concerns and am waiting for an email back.  I think one of my biggest concerns is that now I'm going public for this pregnancy (lack of funds being the only reason) I'll be assigned a high-risk consultant.  My specific worry is that the diabetic consultant will be assigned as my Obstetrician.  When pregnant with Isabella, this consultant repeatedly told me that my baby would either die or be born with major deformities.  My private consultant told me not to listen to her but did little else to calm my fears. I have since found out that this sort of threat is regularly bandied around and as a result, I really don't think that I could handle another pregnancy being told my baby  is going to die and that I'm irresponsible and an unfit mother at every visit.    

Last night I suffered my first full on panic attack about all this.  Gordon was absolutely brilliant and talked me calmly through all the issues and worries.  He didn't patronise me and understood that verbalising fears is not only the key to understanding them but perhaps realising that its not all that serious and insurmountable. 

Unfortunately, a long-standing support system in the shape of a forum group is now gone from me.  I'm disappointed but not surprised that I've heard nothing from the majority of my online friends since then.  I feel bitter that I spent years giving support to others in high-risk pregnancies and none of that support is reciprocated since I got my BFP.  

I'll get over it.  I just wish I didn't have to.

After my little meltdown, Gordon brought me out for dinner and a flick last night.  Cat babysat and we headed to Eddie Rockets (garlic fries and a chicken wrap, 8CHO) and then "In Time" in the movies.  It was a really good night!! We laughed our heads off discussing names and have added another name to our girls name list.  Its a name we're both very surprised at but we love it.  I went to bed at midnight after a mad frenzy of laundry action and not surprisingly tested a 3.2.  A big swig of lucozade and I was a very respectable 5.2 an hour later.  Sweet.

The Technical Stuff

All is good still.  My Eddie Rockets fest was fantastic - I tested 5.0 before I stuffed my face and a very nice 7.1 at the end of the movie.   My overnight levels are doing magic - setting me up for the day.  I was 5.2 going to bed and 5.1 at 8am - woohooo!!!!!!!!!  I've been going low before lunch so reduced my 10am-12noon basals but it just sent me high.  I also need to do another carb free morning, I'm just bloody starving and carbs are the only thing keeping me at all satiated at the moment.

Halloween, 6+3.

Yeah so feeling like shite and being pregnant really sucks.  My drug repertoire is severely limited, paracetamol and um, paracetamol.  Woke yesterday morning with a suspiciously sore throat and pounding head.  I popped some paracetamol and a cup of tea and hoped for the best.  I had a quick 10 second indulgent Strepsil as I'm not sure if its going to irreparably damage my 6mm bean-baby.  Felt increasingly awful all day and deciding to have to skip a party I was invited to (sorry Michael!), I  just sat feeling sorry for myself on the couch.  G did a roast chicken and I stretched to doing some roast potatoes - lovely!  Once again I barely slept but when I finally did I woke G up frequently with my snoring - I NEVER snore!!  What I wouldn't give for 2 Neurofen+, an anti-histamine, a sleeping tablet and a hot whiskey.  Pfft.

Belted it up to the shops today to get some bits for Isabella's dress-up and treated myself to a couple of H&M Mama tops.  Seriously comfy.  They aren't voluminous but what they are is long and snug.  Brilliant for the now stage where I'm hugely bloated but can't in all honesty accept that I have a bump at 6wks 3days.  I cant wait for the 10-12wks stage when I can start telling people and let it all hang out. 

I think Halloween is the curse of the diabetic.  I went to my sisters house so we could all go trick or treating together on her road.  Its a great road, heaps of houses and about 80% of them answer the door.  That meant one huge amount of sweets to tempt me - "malteserteasers" being the biggest temptation.  The kids all had great fun painting each others faces, some of the grown-ups got painted too.  They played dipping for apples and then with their wet faces, they dipped in porridge flakes for jellies.  Great fun - water and porridge everywhere!

 

The Technical Stuff

So, I nibbled my way all the way through the T&T, taking random bolus shots and then scoffed a load of roses (love the orange ones) once back indoors at my sisters house. I didn't risk testing before my dinner which consisted of colcannon, sausages and barn brack but 90 mins after I scoffed my face I tested a sweet 7.4.  Result!!! Not perfect but not the 15 I might have gotten months ago.

Right now, I'm just suffering pre-lunch hypos so I've lowered my basals by .2 of a unit between 10am and 12am and am hoping I can get through tomorrow nice and level.  I've only got another 10 days to keep things as steady as possible before I present myself to the Rotunda.  Every time I think of it, Rescue Remedy gets a lot of loving.

Paying for a pizza - 6+1

Wow - 2 days since my last post - have to make sure I'm not losing the impetus.

Its been busy here the last few days. We had a Presidential election and 2 referendums on Thursday 27th and that was great fun. I decided not to work this year as its a long day and as much as I desperately needed the money, it wasnt worth it for the long long day (6.30am - 10.45pm). I decided to have a lazy morning with my lovely new pal Eugenie. She's considering getting an insulin pump so we went though the pros and cons and I explained some of the technology. I also pretended to be her on the phone and scored some freebies from the meter companies. Its nice to be able to be part of someone else making the decision to have a pump. Lisa helped me so much and I really hope Eugenie finds it as bloody wonderful as we have. So, I had a big slappy lunch (cheeeeese) and a nice lazy afternoon.

Friday was count day and I do love watching a front-runner losing the plot and getting slapped around the polling station. Am delighted that Michael "Dobby" Higgins is to be our new president. Gordon and I went to the count centre to see the carry-on (a lot of sitting around) and then over to the Ideal Homes exhibition. The most exciting thing to report is that I got a new steam cleaner and a little spy light to put beside my bed to turn on when I have to test during the night. Am still inordinately excited with my steamcleaner and will give it a go later. The one I had is ok but it soaks the floor and is bloody heavy.

We got home around 5 and I crawled straight into bed exhausted. Isabella woke me at 7ish and I got ready to head out for dinner with the girls. My GOD am I big already. I'm sure its just bloating but it took me 15 minutes to struggle into tights. Then they were so tight, they cut off the blood supply when I sat down. I could have changed into trousers but I'm not terribly comfy in trousers at the moment, much comfier in a dress. So I rooted around and found a pair of M&S support tights that I've been avoiding succumbing to. Jaysus they were comfy but it was still a struggle. I kept having to twist the top of them and then crouch down and wiggle to get them into the right place. Eventually I caved and cut the wasteband, cutting my buggery tubing in the process. Cue mad panic to change my kit and try and do my hair and makeup - not a pretty sight.

Had a great night - was delighted to find out Mark and Miriam got engaged - with a baby on the way for them too its just great news all around.

The technical stuff.

Not great yesterday - levels hovered around the 6-7 mark. I managed to get a 5.2 before dinner but I think that was all the rushing around. I ate badly last night too - the salad to start was fine but the Pizza and Sticky toffee pudding was probably a bad idea. I did a split bolus, calculating 140g of carb for the entire meal and split it 40%-60% and then had it over an hour. I think I did ok as I was 6.2 when I got home and then 5.2 before bed. However, woke at 3am feeling shite and tested a 14.5!! WTF??? Anyways, I was 5.1 by 5am and 4.9 this morning so its all back to normal now. Bloody pizza. I wouldnt mind only it wasnt terribly nice pizza. Salami instead of pepperoni and a soggy damp base. Pizza is a rare treat now so dont fuck it up please? Am headachey and crampy this morning.

I miss food. 5+5

I did my last Clearblue Digital HPT this morning. It showed up very quickly "Pregnant 3+". According to their site, that means I'm 5+ weeks which means that my HCG is rising nicely. Its the best I can do instead of a reassurance scan!! All good tho. The worrying might have kept me awake a bit last time **whistles**.

I've been chatted with some girls on a "Due in June 2012" forum group that I'm a member of and I've realised I'm insanely jealous of all the pregnant girls that consider eating chips with curry sauce and cheese or pizza or white bread "standard pregnancy fare". I'm on a really strict diet (self-imposed to get near-perfect BS). I dont really eat anything high fat or high carb - high fat means everything takes much longer to absorb and high carb means I have to take a truckload of insulin and that can make me go low. High fat and high carb usually go hand in hand so that sort of cuts out all sorts of yummy stuff.

Anyways - its all in a good cause!

I went to see The Help with the Mammy this evening and it was brilliant - I loved the book so was nervous the movie would be shite but it wasnt. It was really enjoyable and hysterically funny at points. I had pasta this evening for dinner (Linguine with veg in a creamy white wine sauce - NOM!) in a cheapy Italian restaurant and then a paltry 4 minstrels in the cinema with Mammy and i'm high now - ok, 7.1 but high all the same.

I'm going for dinner with the girls on Friday night - there is no way they'll not work out I'm up the duff. They all knew I was waiting for my pump to try for another one so if I show up not boozing, I'll be slagged to an inch of my life. Ah, I dont mind, they are all Mammies themselves and one of us is pregnant already after her first course of IVF so thats par for the course really. Also, I figure I'd tell them if I miscarry so I might as well fill them in now. I hate not telling people - clearly - as so many of you are maybe reading this blog LOL!

The Technical Stuff.

BS almost perfect this morning and ran on target for most of the day. I'm highish this evening but eating out will do that. I'm going to raise my nighttime basals slightly again to try to corner the increases, only because they will go up again in a day or two. I slept funny last night and my pump was pressed into my cannula site. Mahoooosive bruise when I changed it today and very bloody sore.

I'm finding it hard to stick to the same bloody breakfast every morning but I know the carbs spot on and it works perfectly. Weetabix - *yawn*. Also my kidneys are still reacting to the slightest high, despite being on potassium so I'm back on an anti-spasmodic.

Tuesday 25th October. 5+4

Finally after a weekend of not sleeping, I slept like the dead last night. I think a mini-roast dinner and a big fat glass of wine helped. I've been so bloody tired and could fall off to sleep but would wake at 7am or so and not be able to get back to sleep for the life of me. Gordon even gave me two lie-ins but I just lay there faffing. Humph.

Isabella is enjoying coming to our bed at 4am every morning "for a cuddle" so we're reduced to 30cm each on either side of a king sized bed. I'm hopeless at saying no as she pulls the heartstrings "I just want a cuddle Mammy!". At 4am its so much easier to just let her in. Little wagon.

I'm feeling fine now - I've no real symptoms yet except being exhausted and a bad dose of BO, despite showering twice a day. I'm still doing HPTs too - gotta cut that out. I've done about 5 now. Only for the fact that they are only €5 for two in Tesco, I'd have stopped ages ago. I think that as I wont be having a scan for a while, I'm entitled to test. So there. I have one Clearblue Digital left that will tell me how far along I am so I think I'll do that test tomorrow and hope it gives me a "2-3wks".

I'm also going through insulin at a furious rate. I went to the chemist today and came out with 2 enormous bags of supplies. 4 boxes of 10 Cannula sets, 6 vials of insulin, 3 boxes of 5 cartridges, 9 boxes of test strips, 5mg Folic Acid and 75mg Aspirin. Price = €0. Thank god! I don't know how my fellow US diabetics handle having to pay for everything.

The Technical stuff.

My BS levels have been great during the day as I've tweaked my ratios (amount of insulin needed per gram of carb consumed). My only issue is my ever climbing overnight basal requirement. Just as I win, the damn thing goes up again. I set a 110% TBR last night but I was still high this morning. I also tested at 3am and was a respectable 6.1 so its the 2am - 7am levels that have to be addressed. I'm avoiding testing every hour as I've been so tired but I might have to tonight. As I'm starting to feel hyper around a 9, I'm feeling particularly rough when I wake after a few hours at 10 or so.

Want!!!!!!

http://www.diabetesmine.com/2011/09/testing-out-the-ibgstar-first-plug-in-glucose-meter-for-the-iphone.html

Typical Sunday

5+2 today. Feeling good. Quiet weekend doing housework and pottering - might go get me a roast chicken for later. I do love my roast chicken dinners.

My BS have been really good and stable - SO important. I can go a little high immediately after my evening meals, 8.2 last night but I came down within 2 hours of finishing my meal. I'm not overly concerned as the rest of my levels are very good, usually 4s overnight and in the mornings and random tests are in the 5s.

My current targets are under 5 before breakfast and meals and under 7 90mins after finishing a meal. I'm meeting those targets about 80% of the time. I'm praying for a good A1c when I present myself at the Rotunda in 3 weeks time.

First post!!

5+2 today! Up early, mind racing. Setting up a blog, cleaning up facebook, copying posts. Busy busy.

Flu jab!!

Friday 21st October 2011

I'm feeling a bit better in general about money. I know I don't have much but if we have a girl, it will be a lot easier and if we have a boy, he'll just have to wear some pink stuff and get over it. I'm more worried about the extra medical expenses involved in having a high-risk pregnancy etc but I know we'll be ok!!

Went to my GP today - all good - got the flu jab!! We had a good chat about my levels and she gave me heaps of advice and support and asked me how we were going to approach the hospital (i'm going to do a bit of "twisting the truth" - long story). I love my GP so SO bloody much. She's just wonderful. I'll probably get a scan at 8wks but in all my history of miscarriages, i've never had a mmc. I always have very visible loss so I'm going with my body and lots of POAS for this one. Once again - its very odd but I'm very very positive about this pg. I usually get a very gut negative feeling when its going to go pearshaped.

As for a sexing scan?? They'll say "its a boy" and we'll go and stock up on pink. Thats how it will work for me i think!!

Basal day fail.

I was planning a protein-only day today to check my basal rates. These "rates" are the doses you get every hour through your pump and can only be properly checked by eating nothing or by eating carbs only. These rates are the very basis of pump therapy and if you get these right, nearly everything else falls into place.

I did ok in the mornings, I had a slice of toast to check my ratio - thats gone up to 2:1 but my levels are ok mostly. Hypo at 10pm (after a walk) so that threw me off but I was fine before and after dinner. I'm feeling the lows now at around 3.8 and 2 glucose tablets are doing the job these days!

The rest of the day was fine, apart from forgetting I was both non-carbing and pregnant, i popped a mini-muffin into my gob in Aldi. Nom. But I did ok with a bolus for that. I couldnt work out how many carbs were in one so I ate 3 and took 2units. LOLOLOL!!!!!!!!

High again this morning so my overnights will need to go up by about 15%. I am going to do a temporary basal rate of 15% tonight from 1am to 7am to see how I get on and if that works, i'll be on the right track. Not TOO many corrections but most random tests are under 7 so I'm getting there.

And we are off....

Just got a BFP this morning after a BFN on Friday morning. Drank a lot at the weekend so I wish I'd taken something serious for my hangover before I did my pregnancy test!!

Over the moon and nervous as hell.
Absolutely no symptoms but I rarely get any anyways. I still have a bit of cystitis from my kidney infection I had at the start of the month but now I dont know if i can take the meds I was given (Urispas). I cant find the card that came with them. (duh - just googled it and I can take them.
I might have to do a blog or a diary or something to record all the dramas in my pregnancy - hopefully it will be very boring.
I'm due 29th June, day before my sisters birthday!!